Saturday, April 17, 2010
So I haven't made any marks in like two weeks. The dining room table where I had all my alternative process photography stuff set up was overtaken by my husband's tax receipts and the baby gate that cordons off my studio from the kitchen seems to have become increasingly higher, ever more difficult to step over. (It is to keep the dog out of there while I'm not watching.) A couple of weeks ago was the deadline to enter pieces in to a juried show that is coming up in a local museum. I entered three pieces, figuring I had nothing to lose - there was no fee, after all. But I feel like I've been holding my creative breath since the deadline. Don't make a move, lest someone sees you hoping for validation by the jurors or by other artists or community members. At the risk of being publicly naked here - I found out yesterday that none of my pieces were selected for the show. My husband reminds me that I just started painting again and that I said entering the pieces was merely an exercise in seeing how it felt to enter pieces for jury and that I wasn't actually expecting to get in anyway. Yeah, right. After the news, I did spend a fair amount of yesterday sulking and questioning myself and playing the "my art is better than your art sucks compared to their art yadda yadda yadda" game. But this morning, I feel ready to get back in the studio and make some new marks. My original intent was to do this for me - to get back to my art making roots and to rediscover my creativity, and although I am thoroughly enjoying everything that is coming along with that, ultimately, for me, right now, it has to be about the simple act of making, and that has to be enough. There should be a big package of art supplies waiting for me by the time I get home from work today and I'm going to tear right in.